Trying To Remember
by LaurenStories
Summary: What if Chuck hurt his head after the gun shot? He wakes up in hospital with amnesia & memories up to December 2006 only, before Chair's story. As Blair Waldorf brakes down, his memories start to slowly put themselves back together, but is it too late?
1. Waking Up To Four Years Lost

Hey guys, Lauren here :)

I know, I know. You can't believe I've started a new story when I have 5 others to update, it's crazy. But I couldn't help it, this idea was taunting me too much :P

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SUMMARY: When Chuck was shot he also suffered a head wound and now has partial amnesia, he has memories up to Christmas 2006, but no later. Therefore all his memories of falling in love with Blair Waldorf are gone, and she's scared that their story is forever lost.

Will they ever find their way back to each other? How can he make up for his past mistakes when he can hardly remember them?

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In each chapter he will start remembering things when the group starts telling him all that's he's forgot that's happened in the lost four years :) I like the consept, tell me what you think in your reviews, should I continue?

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**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Gossip Girl or the characters silly, they belong to that Josh dude :)

* * *

Chuck Bass blinked.

He blinked twice and then he groaned. The bright lights above him were enough to make the headache he already had ten times worse.

"Chuck?" He closed his eyes, and clenched his jaw shut as the sound of a high squeal entered his ear and he turned to the left to see Blair Waldorf sitting in the chair beside him. Her brown hair was scraped back loosely into a high pony tail, her eyes were red and damp and her face was bare. She looked nothing like the girl he knew.

"Not so loud Waldorf." He drawled, "Where the hell am I?"

She breathed in once and tried to collect herself, wiping a tear away, "You're in the hospital."

He looked around him now and took in the bright ceiling lights, the white colored walls and the smell of antiseptic, "What happened?"

"You are such an ass-hole Bass." Blair cried, hitting his arm and then retracting hers as if there was an electric spark or something between them.

"I am so sorry I dragged you down into the hospital and ruined your Saturday Blair." Chuck rolled his eyes.

She narrowed hers and continued to stare at him for a second before shaking her head and getting up, "I'm sorry, I thought I could do this but… with you acting as if nothing happened.. I just can't."

Chuck's eyebrows furrowed, "Wait Waldorf, what are you going on about? And how did I end up here?"

She turned around and eyed him, "You were shot."

He raised his eyebrows wide, "What? When."

"You've been asleep for a week now." She told him, "Thanks for that, by the way, ruining my Summer abroad. You really could never leave well enough alone, could you?"

"Summer?" He asked, perplexed but before Blair could reply Nate Archibald walked into the room.

"Hey." He told the brunette, rubbing her arm, "How is he?"

"Awake." Blair stated and pointed towards Chuck with her chin.

Nate turned, with wide eyes and finally caught site of his friends brown eyes wide open, "Oh thank god. How are you feeling?"

"I just got shot Nathaniel." Chuck groaned, "And I can't remember how it happened. How do you think I'm feeling?"

"Great." Nate replied sarcastically and Blair bit her lip. The situation for her was already getting awkward enough, but she was sure at any moment Serena would be back with their coffee's and there wouldn't be just one, but two recently broken up couples all in one small hospital room.

She was starting to feel constrained.

"I'm gonna get some air." She announced and then turned to go.

However as soon as her hand was about to collide with the door handle it pushed itself down and opened into the room. Serena van der Woodsen hurried in with three coffee's clouding her view and pushed the door closed with her back.

_Too late_. Blair thought and sighed.

"I have two latte's and a black sugar." She announced as chipper as she could given the circumstances and pashed out the coffee, "Oh my god, you're awake!"

Chuck Bass stared in confusion as the blonde girl acknowledged his state and his mouth swung slightly open.

"S, can you get the nurse?" Blair finally asked.

"Yeah sure."

The blonde was out of the room and down the hall in an instant.

"When did Goldy locks get here?" Chuck finally asked in confusion.

"She came with me Chuck." Blair rolled her eyes, "Don't pretend that you didn't know that we were going to France. You always find a way of pulling us back don't you Bass-hole?"

His eyebrows furrowed even closer together.

"Blair come on." Nate shook his head, "He's been shot. You guys can sort out your problems later."

Chuck opened his mouth but didn't have a chance to speak before Serena entered again followed by a red-headed nurse.

She smiled widely at the brunette boy and grabbed his chart, "It's nice to see you're finally awake Charles. How are you feeling?"

Chuck groaned at the question, "Wonderful." He replied and Nate shot him a narrow look causing him to huff.

"Are you feeling any pain?"

"I feel a little dizzy." Chuck admitted, "But no pain."

"That's good." The nurse smiled, "Your step-mother has just been contacted, she's on her way."

"Lilly, Rufus and Eric are at the hotel down the road." Serena told him when she noticed Chuck's puzzled expression, "I just called them and told them you were awake."

"Wait…" Chuck shook his head, "Step-mother?"

"Yes." The nurse nodded, "Is there anyone else you would like me to call for you, Mr Bass?"

Chuck nodded, "Could you try to contact my father, Bart Bass?"

The room went silent in an instant. Blair Waldorf's eyes widen and her hand guided itself up to her mouth.

"Excuse me for a moment Mr Bass." The nurse gave a small smile, "I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, I think you should get some rest, can we get you visitors out of here please?"

They barely managed nods and Chuck watched as the group hurried out with a weary look. Once they were out he let out a long sigh wondering just how the day became so confusing.

Outside the door Blair Waldorf was struggling not to break out into a fight with the red-head nurse.

"What do you mean?" She cried, "He thinks his father is alive!"

"Miss please." The nurse shook her head, "I need to get the doctor she can explain everything to you."

"No I want an explanation right now, does he have amnesia?"

"It's possible." The nurse stated and the three friends gasped.

Serena van der Woodsen stood in shock, whilst Blair Waldorf couldn't help the tears that came to her eyes. Nate Archibald ran a hand through his hair and then pulled the crying brunette to him and enveloped her in a hug.

"What does this mean?" Nate asked above Blair's head, "He forgot some memories? He still remembered all of us."

"We'd have to run some tests, ask Charles some questions." The nurse persisted, "I need to go get the doctor now, she'll answer all of your questions."

They waited for two hours as the doctor came and examined Chuck, taking tests and questioning him. When she finally stepped out of the room she addressed the people outside.

"Doctor, how is he?" Lily Humphrey asked in concern.

"Are you the immediate family of Charles Bass?" The doctor pressed and Lily nodded, replying she was his mother.

"Charles has a case of amnesia which is not uncommon considering the blow to his head after he was shot." The doctor sighed sadly, "Charles has memories up to a certain point in his life. When asked the date he replied it was December 2006."

The group sounded with shock.

"Oh my god." Blair Waldorf breathed. She felt herself feel dizzy and Serena pulled her head into her arms.

"He won't remember." Blair cried quietly into Serena's arms, and her blonde bestfriend nodded in sad understanding.

"Is it permanent?" Rufus Humphrey asked with an audible gulp.

The Doctor's eyebrows furrowed together, "Nothing is certain. Charles may get his memory back in time, through stories, pictures, anything. He might start remembering bits and pieces and it might all come back to him eventually.

"Might." Eric van der Woodsen pressed his lips tightly together.

"There's a possibility Charles won't recall any of his memories from the last four years."

"No!" Blair cried, "No, this can't be right. He can't just forget us! Too much has happened in the last four years."

"You can only hope and try." The doctor told her sadly. Her pager buzzed and she pulled it out, "I'm sorry, I'll be back to talk to you later, but I'm needed."

"Thank you Doctor." Rufus shook her hand and they watched as the woman left in silence.

Finally Nate stood up, "We have to tell him. Everything. He's get his memory back eventually. He has to. He's Chuck bloody Bass, if he can come back to us after a gun shot and a head wound then…"

"He can get his memory back." Blair nodded and pulled away from Serena, "We have to talk to him. Please Lily, could we have a moment with him, just the three of us."

Lily Humphrey nodded solemnly, "We'll be here."

The three bestfriends walked back into the hospital room and took chairs around Chuck's bed. He watched them carefully.

"Something's wrong." He sighed, "Something's really wrong."

Nate bit his lip and took a deep breathe in, "The doctors told you ,right?"

"Apparently I have amnesia." He chuckled, "But I don't see how I can. There aren't any blank spaces in my memory or anything…."

"Four years." Blair whispered, "Four years of blank memories."

Chuck narrowed his eyes at her, "No."

She pulled her hands up to her mouth and cried slightly into them before brushing her tears away with a sigh, "Oh god."

"December 2006." Serena let out a breathe, "I'm still at boarding school."

Chuck turned to her now, and nodded.

"We're still at Constance." Nate piped in, "Before… _everything _happened."

Chuck looked between them all, and then laughed, "No.. come on this is ridiculous how could this have happened! I can't just suddenly forget four years of my life!"

Blair abruptly got up from her seat and went for the door.

Nate got up and followed her, whilst Serena stared at Chuck carefully.

"I know you can't help this." She smiled sadly, "But we need you to try to remember Chuck, this is killing her."

"Waldorf?" Chuck asked, "Why is she so worried?"

Serena pressed her lips together, "She should tell you."

Chuck shook his head, "This is so weird."

"I know bro, but…"

"Bro?" Chuck laughed, "So Lily married my dad."

Serena laughed, "Yep."

"And then he died."

The room went quiet, "I'm so sorry."

He opened his mouth slightly, "I should have been shocked. I was upset when they told me but it wasn't shocking. I felt like I already knew."

Serena forced a smile, "That's the first step. It's a good sign."

"What year is it?"

"2010." She nodded, "June."

"4 years."

"They'll come back to you." Serena said as reassuringly as she could.

He was silent in response.

"Go get the love birds will you?" He finally said, "We might as well spend some time catching up."

Serena nodded, trying not to narrow her eyes as he referred to Nate and Blair as the 'love birds'.

As soon as she left the room Chuck Bass broke down.

* * *

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Shall I continue? Please tell me what you think in the reviews and I shall present you with another chapter soon :)

I also pinky promise to update all my other stories, haha, starting with Soul Mates, no matter what XD

xo Lauren


	2. Should He Ever Remember

**Hey guys, Lauren here**

Sorry I took such a long time to update this one, but I was kind of stuck. It was really hard to write Chuck's reaction to certain things, and I'm much better at writing angst Chair than a "I don't really know that I had a three year on-off relationship with you" Chair. Anyways, I always had this planed but I was almost baking out of it. I hope you guys will continue reading dispite the ending because believe me it doesn't end like that.

haha, I won't give anything away. Thanks for the great reviews last time they were just amazing to read, it's always nice to hear feedback, so if you want to tell me what you think, or if you want to lash out or if you want to suggest things you would like to happen in the future chapters just hit that little review button, thanks guys :)

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

* * *

"So you and Serena..." Chuck Bass's dark eyes narrowed as he pointed his finger at Nate and then he laughed, retracting his hand and running it through his hair, "Well man, don't know what to say. Um, finally?"

Nate nodded once, "It was never going to last though was it? This me we're talking about, Vanessa, Jenny, Catherine, Bree... even Blair. Why would Serena be any different?"

"It's not like she hasn't had her fair too."

"True." Nate said solemnly, "I just really wished that this time would be different, you know."

Chuck snorted, "Oh what would I know? I'm a womanizer Nathaniel, you of all people know that. I hardly doubt four years changed that."

Nate barely managed a nod, but he didn't respond. Blair had threatened to rip his hair out if he mentioned anything at all to Chuck about their relationship. She was waiting for the perfect time to. Or, Nate feared, she was contemplating not telling him at all.

But Nate Archibald was a terrible liar, and a terrible avoider. The moment Chuck uttered the words his expression changed, and he swayed in his chair uncomfortably.

"Oh my god." Chuck cried, appalled, "You have _got _to be kidding me. No way, I'm Chuck Bass, Chuck Bass doesn't _do _girlfriends."

"Right." Nate attempted to agree. He cast his glance longingly towards the door, wishing he could escape before Chuck burst it out of him and then Blair murdered him. As if by magic at that moment it opened and his two best friends walked through.

Chuck continued regardless of the additional two woman in the room, "What girl was it that broke me then Nathaniel? Some stupid hooker that I got used to or..."

"Chuck." Nate shook his head, trying to get his best friend to shut up.

"I can't believe someone made me monogamous! Seriously, it can't be true. What brain-dead bimbo did I fall for then? And why isn't she here making sure I didn't die from head trauma?"

Serena walked around and slapped her ex-boyfriend on the head, "What have you been telling him." She demanded as Nate grimaced in pain.

"Nothing." He cried, "Chuck likes to make stories up in his head when he can't remember the last four years of his life, makes things more interesting. I'm surprised he haven't already figured out most of what's been going on by reading Gossip Girl."

Serena's looked towards her brunette best friend who shifted uncomfortably were she was standing by Chuck. Serena van der Woodsen knew Blair Waldorf. She knew that whenever Blair Waldorf went quiet it was because she was going through something big. And she usually went through the big things all alone.

"I can't seem to find my phone." Chuck's hand went up to stroke his forehead, "And you guys are giving me a headache."

Serena crossed the room, grabbing Blair's hand and gently nudged her bestfriend towards the door, "Let's give Chuck some time alone, get something to eat, eh B?"

Blair nodded once, not connecting her eyes with her bestfriend and let the blonde drag her out of the room. Nate smacked his hands on his knees, and also got up.

"I better go too man, you can get some rest, maybe stop being so cranky."

"Nate." Chuck called after the brunette, "What's wrong with Waldorf, why is she being so quiet?"

Nate hesitated by the door, turning around momentarily, "Blair just doesn't like hospitals. The smell of antiseptic gets to her."

"You haven't gotten any better at lying Archibald." Chuck noted making Nate chuckle.

"Rest." He commanded, before opening the door and stepping outside with a sigh.

...

"You're gonna tell him." Serena told Blair in as much of a commanding voice as she could manage. She stabbed her folk through a piece of lettuce and brought it up to her mouth, "Because if you don't I will."

"Since when did blackmail become your speciality?" Blair rose a single eyebrow and murmured the words, "You won't tell him."

"Blair's it's for your own good. You heard what the doctor said, if you want him to start regaining some of his old memories you need to tell him the things that he can't remember from the last four years. And the biggest thing that's changed in his life was having you."

"Oh please S. I was hardly that important to him was I?"

"You know you were." Serena snapped, "Blair, I'm sorry but this isn't the time to play the victim ok. B, I love you, and the only way for you to move forward is to help him remember."

"What if I don't want him to remember!" Blair cried, louder than she had wanted to as a few heads in the hospital cafeteria turned around.

"Don't you go into denial. You're the best thing that ever happened to that arse-hole."

"He slept with Jenny Humphrey, he sold me for a hotel." Blair took a deep breathe in. She still had difficulty saying the last part, even though she had finally told Serena about the Jack and Empire situation after crying to her about Jenny, "And you watched what it did to me. Maybe it's best for us all if he just forgets, like it never happened."

"But it did happen."

"Chuck lost himself Serena!" Blair said with a shake of the head, "He became someone who I didn't know anymore after Elizabeth left. I made him open up to her and she ripped his insides apart. Even before then, he would rather go to business meetings then have time with me, he hardly looked at other girls, he fell into a routine, he wasn't Chuck Bass anymore, and I went along with it S because I was scared to face the truth. The Chuck Bass that I fell in love with, the guy sitting in that room, he wasn't the guy that slept with Jenny."

"It's understandable that you want to hold onto that." Serena pushed her hand forward and wrapped it around Blair's, "It is, believe me Blair, because he did something to you that was unforgivable and you want to wish that it wasn't him doing that stuff."

"I broke him." Blair cried, "I broke him, and now he's repaired. He's himself again."

"You did _not _brake him." Serena argued sternly, "Don't you dare say that. You made him a better person."

"No I didn't." Blair shook her head simply, a small tear trailing a way down her cheek, "I made him awful. He hurt me more then anyone, and I caused it because I changed him."

"You didn't cause it Blair, he did that to you all by himself."

"No, your wrong. If I had never come into his life he wouldn't have become that monster. He was never capable of that before. I missed him so much S, I missed who he was." She couldn't help the floods of tears that now started pouring out of her eyes. Serena got up from her side of the table to join Blair and develop her in a side hug.

"You didn't do it." She whispered again, as forcefully as she could manage, before pulling away and holding onto her bestfriends hand, "Listen to me Blair, you didn't do that. You made Chuck Bass a much better person, someone who I actually felt proud to call my step brother. And he made an awful mistake, but it was his mistake. He had changed for the better Blair, believe me. He was always capable of that."

Blair sobbed, her head bowing down, "I still missed him. And now he's back and he's sitting in that hospital room and he's the old Chuck again. That's the Chuck I fell in love with, he's the _real _Chuck Bass."

Serena shook her head, "I can't force you to change what you believe right now. But if you leave it, one day in the future when your all grown up and working with a husband and child, I don't want you to think what if. What if you had told Chuck Bass about your relationship and you two had ended up together. What if he was the one."

"What if this is someone's way of telling me it just wasn't meant to be?" Blair interrupted, "And that he lost his memory for a reason."

"What if it was meant to bring you two back together?" Serena furrowed her eyebrows, "I don't want you to live a life of regret."

Blair searched her blond best friends eyes as if searching desperately for answers, "S, what should I do?"

...

"Hey."

She stood awkwardly at the door, and he turned to look at her with a smirk on his face.

"Since when did you hover Waldorf?"

She managed a small smile before settling into the chair next to him, "Well your four years out, so you never know it could be a habit I picked up."

"I don't think I'm that out of the loop, you're pretty much the same as always." Maybe she was just hearing it but he seemed to be saying the words almost reassuringly.

"Chuck, it's been four years." She gulped inaudibly, "So much has changed."

"Yeah, I didn't realize you and Nathaniel weren't all lovey dovey anymore. You've obviously kept close." He shrugged, "We all have, the four of us."

"We hit rough patches." She admitted and he laughed.

"Sounds like us."

"But we don't judge."

_We don't judge, we're the non-judging breakfast club. We're your bestfriends_.

Chuck shook his head furiously causing Blair to lean forward,, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just... I think I remembered something." He narrowed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, looking in deep concentration, "Serena was... crying and... we were..."

"Chuck." Blair took a deep breathe in, "What are you..."

"We were trying to get her to tell us why."

"Oh my god." Blair's hand fell over her mouth, "You can remember that? What else can you remember?"

"You told her we were her best friends, the non-judging breakfast club." He shook his head again, "I sound crazy."

She closed her eyes, and focused on not letting the tears spill, "No, your right."

He furrowed his eyebrows again, "Damn it, I can't remember anything else."

"It's ok." She tried to reassure him, "You don't need to remember... everything."

And that's when Blair Waldorf made her final decision. She fought off the erge to lean forward and grab the boy she loves hand when she said it, "It's not like that much has happened, especially not in your life."

Chuck rolled his eyes, "Except this mystery woman."

Blair forced a laugh, "Nate was messing with you, please your Chuck Bass, you would never do monogamous."

"Why thank you Waldorf, it's a relief that at least you remember me the same."

"The old Chuck." She murmured, "Don't worry too much about the last few years, it's easy to update."

"Nate and Serena the most interesting that happened huh?"

"Yep." She managed to agree, "Pretty much."

"Nothing else?"

She forced herself to shake her head once and never look back.

* * *

**TRUST ME, THIS ISN'T THE END**

I put alot of my own oppinion into this which I hope you guys don't hate me for. I think the bipolar Chuck of season 3 wasn't the Chuck of seasons 1 & 2 and I think Blair and Chuck will hopefully realise this in season 4. He went from being a doughting but rather boring boyfriend who would NEVER sell Blair out for a hotel to evil Chuck who will eat your babies. Hahaa, I miss the old Chuck and I hate that their making him become even less like the old Chuck in season 4, so I really can't wait for the bass-hole to come back. NOT evil chuck but CHUCK, the real Chuck.

If that makes sense. Hhaha, sorry that was such a ramble. More, exciting things to come I promise!

***spoiler***

He will eventually find out he had a relationship with Blair, sooner then you might think ;)

***end of spoiler***

Thanks again to all my reviews, I'm off on holiday so I might not update for some time, but I hope you guys have a GREAT holiday

**XO Lauren**


	3. Memories Of 2009

*Holds Hands Up*

OK, shoot me! I know, I know, I haven't updated in _so _long, but trust me I have been so busy with everything in my life, and I haven't been very inspired to do anything lately. But I pushed forward and finished this for you guys because you were AMAZING with all the reviews last time, it was astounding, seriously, _40 REVIEWS for just 2 chapters? _It made my day :) So Thank you all the people that are reading this story, and enjoying it because it's always great to hear feedback!

I know that the last chapter was very mixed with reviews, some people loved it some people were weary about it, and that's great because I love hearing everyone's own opinions on how Chair went down in season 3. I know that what Blair said last time wasn't completely her and had a lot of me in it, but her blaming herself and not wanting to tell Chuck because she believed that he changed once Elizabeth got to him, I think that's quite believable.

[I know there was one reviewer in particular that said that Blair's speech was very much based on me and that I didn't know what Chuck I wanted. I just wanted to reply saying that you're right, I read it back and it was a very mixed talk on her - or my :/ - behalf and that it's true that I don't know what Chuck I want. I don't want the Chuck of now (s4O, or the non-loving Chuck of before, or the boring Chuck of season 3 or the evil Chuck at the end, I want middle ground Chuck and I don't even know if that guy exists anymore. Anyways, sorry if the speech confused you, and I hope that what Nate says in this chapter is a little more realistic, I'm not sure :P I hope you'll continue to read the story despite my obviously mixed opinions on everything, and thanks for the review :)]

I think this chapter takes us a BIG step forward, but the story has so much more to it, so don't worry :) I won't say anymore, I don't want to spoil it.

This is dedicated to all the amazing reviewers, thank you so much much again, you guys are the reason I love writing for fanfiction, knowing that people enjoy your work is great, and I hope you'll continue reading and reviewing! :)

- Lauren

* * *

The Empire Hotel.

"I live in a hotel?"

Chuck Bass leant against the doorway, a light brown walking stick in his left hand an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yeah, and you own it and you pretty much love it too." Nate Archibald appeared from behind him carrying a small black bag, "This is all the stuff you left at Prague."

Chuck nodded once; watching as his golden haired best friend dropped the bag down on the sofa and then sighed, pushing himself forward. As much as he hated to admit it, he was in quite a lot of pain now he was walking again, but being Chuck Bass he thought the walking stick was humiliation enough.

"You look like an old man."

Serena van der Woodsen pushed past him carrying a giant pretzel and laughed, "Seriously, with your suit and crane you have the old man vibe all around you."

"Thanks sis." He said sarcastically, trying not to grimace as he took another step forward, "Where's your brunette counter-part?"

Serena shrugged, obviously dismissing the question and then pointed to the sofa, "Go sit down old man, me and Nate have to have a young persons talk in the bedroom."

Nate turned around, raising his eyebrows at that, "Oh we do, do we?"

Serena nodded once, ignoring the tone to her ex-boyfriends voice and grabbed his sleeve, dragging him into the other room.

"Archibald this isn't about us, or what happened before the shooting ok?" Serena sighed, shutting the door behind her, "This is about Chuck and Blair."

"She doesn't want to tell him anything does she?"

"No." Serena shook her head, "How did you know?"

Nate rolled his eyes and fell down onto Chuck's bed, "Please Serena, we dated for enough time, contrary to popular belief I know Waldorf better than I know most people, besides Chuck."

She tried not the let the comment affect her, although she couldn't help the jealous feeling she got inside.

"He's going to find out eventually," She continued, "He could buy a new phone and it's already been posted on Gossip Girl 500 times, or one of us could let it slip, or Dan or Vanessa, or anything!"

Nate furrowed his eyebrows in thought, "So what do you suggest we do?"

"Blair's in denial right now Nate, she's talking about _the old Chuck_, as if he's not the guy sitting in there when of course they're the same person!"

Nate took a deep breath in, "She knows that he'll eventually find out she just doesn't want to admit it to herself. It'll be bad if he doesn't hear it from her."

Serena nodded, "So we have to convince her it's for the best. I can't do it by myself anymore Nate, I've already tried countless times since she told me her decision."

Nate nodded once, "I'm in."

.

Chuck Bass let out an exasperated breathe out as he watched the shadows of his two bestfriends move around his bedroom. If he had the strength to get up and get them to stop fighting about whatever petty thing they were talking about – who's hair was shinier or who's got better conditioned skin, whatever – then he would.

But he didn't.

"Serena?" Chuck looked up from the sofa to see Blair Waldorf wonder into the room. She looked so much more different than he recalled. Her brown locks had been dyed a lighter color and cut shorter, her clothes had become more pristine and she had changed her makeup style. The headbands had gone and the most obvious new thing about her was the aroma of power she used to carry around seemed to have slipped away, "Nate? Chuck?"

"Hey." He called out and laughed huskily as she jumped up, scared, a hand floating to her heart.

"You Bass-tard, you scared the living daylights out of me!" She cried, walking over and giving him a little hit on the arm, "Why were you hiding there?"

"I wasn't hiding." He complained, "I was resting."

"Havn't you had enough of resting? I mean you've only been spending all your time in a hospital bed for like three weeks." She rolled her dark brown orbs and then smiled, "You feeling ok?"

He shifted his position slightly and ignored the pain cast up his side, "Yep, I'm doing great."

"Here," When he looked back up she was holding out pain-killers and a glass of water, "Call me Mary Poppins, just don't expect a spoon full of sugar, you're not eight."

"I don't-" He began, but she pushed them forward.

"After all these years you don't think I know what your pain face looks like? You do it every time you get a headache but want to be too manly about it, and every time you watch Serena and Nate squabble about whose got shiner hair. Take the damn painkiller Bass."

He huffed slightly but then reached out and accepted the pills; quickly pushing two back and gulping down the water.

"It'll take at least 15 minutes to kick in so I'm not letting you back up until then ok? Unless you need to go to the bathroom urgently, then you can because there is no way in hell I'm cleaning that coach, and it's not stain-guarded."

He laughed just as Nate and Serena came out of the bedroom.

"Hey B," Serena smiled, fakely Blair noted, "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, we're going shopping." Blair quickly stepped forward grabbing Serena's hand, "Ciao boys."

.

"Ok Blair, seriously, what happened?" Serena pulled off her red and blue sun hat and narrowed her blue eyes, "I don't see you in two days and suddenly you're on top of the world?"

"Oh please S, do you know me? I'm never 'on top of the world'." The brunette sighed, "But I am chipper. I realized there's no reason for me to be upset about Chuck's mental health because every thing's going exactly as I wanted it to."

"Mental health? Blair he has amnesia he's not mentally ill."

Blair rolled her eyes, "The point is I can't be upset for no reason, the stress is slowly killing my skin and I don't need that right now."

Serena van der Woodsen took a deep breathe in. She knew Blair Waldorf better than she knew herself, and she knew that when things got difficult she tended to try to put them aside, forget about them and pretend that everything is the way she always planned. But in the end, as she forgets about the cracks they just grow bigger until she falls through them, and Serena didn't want that to happen to her bestfriend ever.

"Blair I know you don't want to hear it but you have to snap out of this façade, you need to tell Chuck the truth now."

"There's nothing to tell Serena, I never truly lied to him. He never asked me if we dated and I never said no. What's there to tell?"

"Blair he deserves to know." Serena insisted, "In fact it's selfish of you to keep it from him. It's his history too, you can't decide what he does and doesn't know."

Blair's dark eyes sparkled with fury as she threw her napkin down on the table, "You know what Serena? I'm sick of you judging me. One day you complain I'm too sad, the next I'm too happy. One day it's Chuck that's the bastard that broke my heart, the next I'm the one that's selfish, make your damn mind up already! If you want to tell him, go ahead, be the doting stepsister, but mark my words Serena that _will _be the end of us. Period."

.

Blair Waldorf never broke down; she had always seen it as a sign of weakness. But as she sat lying on her bed with tears slowly streaming down her eyes she realized that the porcelain bowl in her bathroom was all too tempting and the idea of finally letting it all out was calling out to her in a loud, screaming voice.

"Hey." Nate Archibald didn't knock, he hardly ever did. Instead he slowly opened and closed the door and stood leaning against it, "Blair?"

She furiously wiped her tears away with the back of her hands and snapped, "What is it Archibald?"

"Are you ok?"

She laughed once, "What do you think? Since everyone's giving me their opinions these days I'm sure you're here to do the same, spit it out tell me that I'm selfish and a bitch for not telling him too. Go on Nate, do it, I'm used to it now."

"He wasn't himself."

She wasn't expecting it, she looked up slowly and found him with his eyes closed against the door, "What?"

"I grew up with him Blair, he's my bestfriend. He wasn't himself when he... did what he did to you. And I understand Blair, I understand you wanting to hold onto that, to hold onto him." Nate shrugged, "But when Chuck was in a relationship with you he was that guy that he is right now. You made him better Blair, you made him someone that I knew he always was."

"No." She croaked weakly, attempting to shake her head.

"Yes you did, you made him someone that was capable of helping others and someone that could love." Nate smiled sadly, "You made him better than he is right now, and you can't take that away from him Blair because I need, everyone needs the Chuck that he became, before the he lost himself, not the Chuck he is right now."

Blair wiped away the falling tear and pressed a hand against her mouth, "I just hated what he became Nate, he _killed _me by what he did! I forgave him for something that no one else would have ever done and he… he did something to me that he knew I would never let go. I'm so scared of him doing it again."

Nate nodded slowly, "I know, but by not telling him, it doesn't take away what he did. We're not asking you to take him back Blair, but he's nothing without what you made him. He needs that Blair, he needs to know that he can love that he _is _loved."

Blair looked up and smiled sadly at Nate, "Thanks Archibald. If your dream doesn't work out you could always become the next Ophra."

Nate chuckled lightly, "It's my backup plan."

.

Chuck grunted as he made his way to the bedroom. Lilly had just left, after making sure he was settled and he was finally alone. It felt weird feeling the affection radiating of one of his best friends mums, _his _step mum, and with the pills that he took wearing of from before causing him both a headache and body pains.

He reached out his hand to the doorframe for support, and leant against it exhausted. His eyes scanned his bedroom wearily and settled on a chest of draws on by his bed that caught his attention. He was pretty sure Nate had mentioned he left the painkillers in the chest by his bed, and quickly gathered his energy to move towards them.

Finally by the draw he sat down on the beds side and yanked it open, shuffling through the things inside, documents and papers, stationary, men's cologne, ties, endless things except for painkillers. He sighed frustrated and was about to push the draw back when a small red box near the back of the draw caught his eye.

Slowly, and for some reason carefully, he pulled the box out and read the clean, curved black writing at the top that read '_2009 memories_'. A small smile appeared at the side of his face, he had lost four years of his life, what better way of remembering what had happened that seeing photos, real life evidence.

He lifted the lid out and pulled out a stack of photographs, the first one a picture of him and Nate at some event, hands around each other's necks looking amused. He was glad that some things didn't change. He slowly flipped to the next one, placing the one of him and Nate to the back, and examined a picture of him and Eric van der Woodsen, obviously in the van der Woodsen manor, smiles on their faces. He wondered slowly to himself how Serena's younger brother seemed to have made friends with him.

The next few photos were of friends and family, one that caught his attention seemed to be of Thanks Giving 2009, a bunch of people were grouped around a table, the only ones he recognized were Nate, Serena, Blair, Lily, Eleanor Waldorf and himself. He could faintly detect the brown haired man sitting next to Lily was her new husband Rufus Humphrey and he guessed the children sitting around were friends and family of Rufus and Lily's.

The group of people didn't seem to be in the best moods but the scent of family hung in the air from the simple photo and he couldn't help but automatically feel attached to the scene. The only memories he had were Thanks giving's and New Years alone as his father was always away, he had always longed for a Christmas with family. And now that he had it, he couldn't even remember receiving it. He frowned slightly at the thought, but refused to let himself become sentimental and quickly shuffled to the next photo.

He looked down at the photo of himself with Blair Waldorf. She looked radiant, in a black and red heart-shaped, strapless red dress and shoulder length brown ringlets falling down her face. He studied the picture carefully, his eyes narrowed at the way his hand was around her waist, at the way his eyes were looking at the brunette with fascination and something else he couldn't quite name…

_Are you sure?_

He snapped his eyes shut as his head buzzed with pain, three simple words flashing around his mind. He rubbed his temple furiously, and forced his eyelids back open, his eyes caught the white box of painkillers he had just been looking for, pushed behind his lamp and he grabbed them, shoving open the lid and dry-swallowing two.

Once he was sure that he was ready he opened his eyes and fingered the photos, taking a deep breathe in. For some reason the idea of them made him weary, as if he was about to look at something significant…

Before he could back out and put the photos away he quickly turned to the next one, Blair again, sparkly back dress, _holding hands_, -flip- green dress, white hat, _matching outfits, matching smiles_ –flip- red swimsuit, shorts, _half hugging, looking into each others eyes_ –flip- birthday day cake, golden dress, _kiss on the cheek, no ruby ring _–flip-…

"Chuck?" Three taps and voice he wasn't yet ready to hear.

He heard keys jingle and then the front door open and close. His eyes clouded at the photo he had just turned to, an image of himself, arms wrapped around the body of a pristine brunette beauty, mouth formed into a smile as he pressed it soundly onto her full red lips, Blair Waldorf obviously sinking into his embrace.

He shut his eyes as footsteps trailed into his room, "Chuck, are you here?" Her voice grew louder, closer and finally he felt her presence behind him. He let out a long breath of air before turning around to see her.

"Are you ok? What are you doi-"

She cut herself off as his limp hand managed to push itself up slightly, the photos clearer in her views, and as her eyes settled on them she was sure that she felt herself stop breathing.

"Oh."

.

* * *

DUN DUN DUNNNN.

Hahahaha, I'm sorry XD

Yes, as I said before it suddenly became very fast moving but I think stories that are fast moving are always more attention grabbing and easier to stay hooked onto.

I promise to not make you all wait too long before the next chapter, and believe me when I say I'm not done with this story. Just because he knows that him and Blair had _something _doesn't mean that everything is over, because Chuck's still got amnesia, Blair still dispises him for what he did, he still doesn't remember their whole story and I have lots of more _dun dun dunnnn _moments up my sleeve ;)

Please continue to review guys, it only takes a second and makes my day :)

Hope you liked it!

- Lauren


	4. You Ruined Me

**Hey guys, Lauren here :)**

I know it's been a long time since I've updated all my stories, but I got a little bit of inspiration of this one so I thought i might update this first, but I'll hopefully be doing them all soon.

Last time I was on the hunt for a beta, and thank you for all the people that offered but I actually decided to not pick one at all, as stupid as that is. I actually have no time at the moment and I'm sure i'd make a bad person to work with for any beta, I wouldn't be able to do anything on time and it would get futerating for all of us, so trust me it's better for me to just have an error filled document :P But thank you, again, for your offers, it was amazing the amount I got :)

This chapter was perticuarily hard to write because it's something major at the beginning but I actually quite like it and I hope you guys do too so please Read & Review, the reviews always spur me on to write.

Thank you to all the people who reviewed last time, you're the reason this story is alive and it's dedicated to you!

P.S. Please read the authors note at the end!

**xo Lauren**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING**

* * *

"What is this?" He rose from the bed slowly, "Blair, what the hell is this?"

She took a deep breath in slowly, "I can explain."

"Ok." Chuck nodded once, "Explain to me how you lied to me. Explain to me just exactly why you, and everyone else in my life failed to enlighten me upon this small insignificant little detail, go on then Blair, I'm dying to hear this."

"Oh get off your high horse Bass." She snapped, stepping further into the room, "Just because I left it out doesn't mean that I lied."

"Don't you dare be cocky with me Blair!" He suddenly yelled and she stumbled backwards shocked. He dropped the photos onto the bed and he pointed his hand, "I just lost 4 years of my life which I'll never get back, you don't think I have right to know what happened all those years?"

She pressed her head into her hands, "Urgh, that's not fair Chuck!"

He analysed her for a second, watched as she scraped her hair back and furrowed his eyebrows, "What happened between us? How did we break up?"

She looked at him through narrowed eyes "How do you know that we're not still together?"

He took a deep breathe in, "I have no idea. Damn it!" He yelled, moving backwards and hitting the bed with his fist, "What is this Blair? I'm Chuck Bass for god's sake, I'm fucking Chuck Bass, I don't do monogamous, you know that!"

Her eyes practically threw daggers at him, "Of course I know, we spent years getting over that stupid fact! But you don't remember that do you?"

"I have amnesia, I've lost all my memories! That isn't my damn fault. What gives you the right to keep my life from me? What gives you the right?"

She blinked back the tears because his words were kicking a hole through the wall she had built around herself. She didn't want to take in the fact that he was gone. The Chuck that she had fallen in love with, the Chuck with all the memories was gone, and she just couldn't face it.

"I know you better than I know anyone." She said, closing her eyes temporarily, "I know that you're not mad at me for not telling you, you're mad because it happened full stop."

He furrowed his eyebrows, staring at her, before rubbing his temples trying to soothe the headache, "Is it really that surprising. I have no idea what happened in the last 4 years. Tell me what happened, how did we end up together?"

"It doesn't matter." Blair muttered.

"Yes it does!" He cried, "How would you feel if you were me? How would you feel if you just lost yourself?"

"You haven't lost yourself." Blair shook her head, speaking quietly.

"You ruined me!" He cried, "Don't you see? Chuck Bass is not monogamous, I had that Blair, that's the _only _thing I had left and you killed it! You ruined me."

She stared at him, lips trembling, tears daring to spill, "This is why I didn't tell you. You don't know me, you don't know us. You're not ready for this Chuck, you're not ready for love."

His whole expression altered, his eyes widened, glowing. The word had escaped her mouth before she could stop it, and he stared at her with an infallible expression.

"Love? Oh…" He stumbled backwards slightly unconsciously, "No. _no_."

Her face turned into one of disgust, "Oh you don't need to worry because I don't love you anymore."

His eyes snapped back up to look at her and for a moment, just a moment she saw something there. Like something deep inside of him unconsciously broke.

She didn't want to cry in front of him but she couldn't help the fragment of a sob that cracked through her exterior, "Just… sleep, rest, try to take in and just move on Chuck. Our storyline was over months ago, at least you have peace from it."

"I need to know things Blair."

She shook her head, "Sometimes it's better to be in the dark."

"That's my choice." He said sternly, "And I want to know."

Gulping unconsciously she slightly nodded, "What do you want to know?"

He furrowed his eyebrows unsure of his answer. What did he want to know? He had so many unanswered questions he didn't know what to start with and his headache was getting progressively worse not better.

"How did we start?" He asked her and she stared at him unflinching.

_The limo. _The moment everything in her life changed. Blair Waldorf had a plan in life; she was to grow up and marry Nate Archibald and become the women she had always dreamed of being, the woman she grew up watching on her television screen, perfect and powerful. And then spotless socialite had ripped of her clothes, shed her invincibly and fallen in love with Chuck Bass. Her white knight dreams had been painted black and her whole world had turned upside down. They had given up everything for each other, they had broken hearts and souls and learnt to love and be selfless and _together_. ChuckandBlair, BlairandChuck. At least when her world came tumbling down around her months ago they had that, they had the knowledge that they had evolved together and really truly tried, against destiny, against what was meant to happen. Now he didn't even have the memories, not even _the limo_, not even their beginning.

She cracked. Tears tumbling down recklessly on her cheeks and her hand flying to press against her mouth.

"I can't do this." She sobbed, "Don't make me do this, it's too hard."

"I deserve-"

"What about what I deserve?" She shouted, "I deserve peace Chuck! I would do _anything _ to be where you are and forget this hurt that I'm feeling, like someone just ripped out my heart. You don't even know how we began, you don't... you don't even _know _me, not really. Our work, all that work to make ourselves into people that could build a future together has been torn to ashes and _I don't deserve that_, not after everything that's happened. Not after what you did!"

He looked at her, grief stricken. What had he done to her? He had accused her of destroying him, but what about him _her_? She sighed tiredly, furiously wiping away her tears.

"You have to rest, you're still poorly. Forget about this please, there's nothing that can be done, we have to get past it."

He acted like a child, avoiding her eyes.

"Goodbye Chuck." She told him quietly and then he heard her heels disappear slowly and the front door close behind her.

_I never thought the worst thing you would ever do would be to me! Goodbye Chuck._

He clutched his head, screaming out slightly as a massive pain passed over his head. The whispers of something forgotten hung in the air as he scrunched his hand up into a fist and punched his bed, forgetting the photos that he had thrown their when she had first arrived.

They fluttered into the air and dropped scattered on the ground around him, one of him and Blair kissing, looking happy falling right in front of his face. He felt it, he couldn't deny it, he felt _something _for the brunette. Something so deep even his mental state couldn't hold it back from him, something that was trying force itself out, causing him unbearable pain. As he stared at the picture, he couldn't recognise the smiling man as himself. He was older, more mature, too happy, too _in love_. Things Chuck Bass certainly wasn't.

He gulped furiously and pushed his hands forward to grab the picture and ripped it into a million pieces.

There was a reason he had been walking down an alley way in Prague, a reason he had hit his head and forgotten everything. It was a clean start, a break for two people who were never meant to be together to start over, to live their lives how they were always suppose to. _Apart_.

...

"Blair?"

Serena van der Woodsen slowly crawled onto Blair's bed, the figure of her best friend hidden beneath the covers, her brown hair sticking out slightly.

She heard a sniff before Blair croaked, "He knows S, and he hates me."

Quickly she pulled back the covers on the other end and entered the bed with her, pushing herself against Blair's back, "It's for the best B, I promise."

Blair let out a shaky breathe, "He said I ruined him, that the great Chuck Bass doesn't _do _love."

Serena clenched her jaw together making a mental note to pay her step-brother a little visit soon, "He has no idea what he's talking about."

"It's gone Serena, I've lost him." Blair cried weakly. She couldn't hold it in anymore, she was hurting so much, _too _much, "He's gone."

The blonde slowly pushed Blair's hair away from her face and wiped away her tears, silently, settling her head down on the pillow, trying her hardest to comfort her best friends cries.

...

Nate Archibald watched as the blond stepped out of the elevator with a determined look on her face.

"Serena, what are you doing here?" He asked, pushing his drink onto the counter and stepping away from the pool table, "And why do you look like your ready to start a war?"

"Where's Chuck?" She asked furiously, "God I could strangle him to death right now!"

Nate furrowed his eyebrows, "What did he do?"

"What do you think he did? Blair's at home right now a complete wreck, and this is Blair Waldorf we're talking about! As if he hasn't hurt her enough even now without his stupid arsehole memories he's continuously insistent on breaking her heart!"

"Serena..." Nate trailed off into a sigh, "He's gone out, I couldn't stop him. He called two girls over, and then they went out."

The blond placed her head into her hands and let out a sigh of defeat, "What is he thinking Nate?"

"He doesn't understand," Nate shrugged helplessly, "He thinks he's still 15 Serena, he's lost four years of his life, he's completely messed up right now!"

"That doesn't give him the right to walk all over her, to do that to her. She blames herself for him and she doesn't deserve that. I don't know what to do Nate!"

He nodded slowly and then stepped forward to pull his best friend into a hug, "I know. It's hard Serena, Chuck's accident just puts so much into perspective. I don't know what I'd do without my memories."

She took a deep breathe in, holding onto him in silent agreement, "I just wish I could fix her, him, both of them."

His hand fluttered up to her hair and rubbed it slowly, "So do I."

...

Standing outside of Victorla she felt a chill spread over her, and closed her eyes wearily, unsure what exactly she was doing there. The memories pierced another puncture wound through her failing heart and she resisted the urge to cry.

Of course she couldn't go inside but she waited by her taxi, ready to go home but weary to.

She wondered whether she'd truly give up her memories of the past four years to make the pain go away. She couldn't find it in herself to say she definitely would, too much had happened, too many good memories had occurred for her to actually want to forget. God she had loved him, she had loved him so much it had torn her to pieces when they had ripped apart. It was almost as if she had lost a piece of herself that she had given him that she could now never get back.

She had pledged to move on from him, to leave Chuck Bass in her past but now her past with him was becoming more and more transparent, something that never happened. The moments that only the two of them shared were only her memories now. Only she could varify they ever happened. He already forgot about her, he could easily move on and she would be stuck in the past. Clinging on for dear life because the idea of letting go scared her to death.

She never thought they could truly be done because they were both holding on at one point, they were inevitable, a loop that couldn't be broken no matter how hard the universe tried. But now they were tipped of balance. He'd gone and she'd been left in the cold, all alone.

No. She decided, memories weren't enough. They were painful, and cold and bleak. She didn't need them.

"Blair?"

Quickly she wiped away any moisture around her eyes and turned to look in the way that the voice had said her name. Dan Humphrey stood with his hands in his leather coat's pocket awkwardly staring at her.

"Urgh, great just what the situation needs a Humphrey!" She snapped sarcastically, praying to god he hadn't seen her tears but knowing he had, "What are you doing in an area like this?"

"I was wondering the same thing actually. Victrola seems more like Chuck's thing than yours."

She flinched at his name, _too soon_.

"None of your business actually." She told him, "It's personal."

"Well I was actually just walking up to see Serena," He said slowly, "But... are you ok? I heard about Chuck and I am really sorry."

She nodded once, "That doesn't mean too much to me Humphrey but thank you anyways."

He laughed, "You know Blair, when my mum left all I could think was that she didn't want us anymore. That me and Jenny meant nothing to her and she had just forgotten about us, but, she came back eventually and I realised that people never completely let go. They'll always be apart of Chuck that remembers you, deep down, you can't erase those kind of feelings of love no matter how hard you try."

Blair let out a shaky breathe, "I hope you're right."

"Serena and me are the perfect example that feelings don't stay buried for forever. Everything happens for a reason, and eventually it'll lead us to where we have to be."

She laughed lightly, "You a writer, huh? Maybe lay of the cheese in your book and you'll go far."

He pretended to be hurt by the comment but then sighed slightly, "It'll be ok."

"I hope so." Blair agreed and then turned to look at him before rolling her eyes, "Come on then Humphrey, get in the taxi, I'll give you a quick lift to the Humphrey's place."

"Thank you." He said, greatfully getting into the warm car before Blair squeezed in beside him.

"Thank you." She told him quietly once they were both inside and the car started driving away.

.

.

What did you guys think of Chuck's reaction? I know lots of you were looking forward to it and god i hope I haven't dissappointed, it was just so hard to write it and make it dramatic and good but relatistic ect.

*spoiler on this story*

what do you think of having a little dair or would you guys rather Blair move onto someone new for the next few chapters, because she is about to have a new little relationship which is gonna work great for the chair development of this story while Chuck falls back into his old habits.

*end of spoiler*

Please review and tell me what you think. Also if you have any suggestions for what should happen in later chappies or what you would like to happen just drop me a PM or add it in your review :)

**xo Lauren**


	5. So copied from Chuck Bass 2009

Hey everyone,

Thank you everyone who reviewed last time, it was magic around 50 reviews, made my day 3

I have to say that their were mixed reactions on the Dair front but there were lots of people who were so majorly against it I don't want to spoil this story for so there will be NO DAIR in this story. Apologies to people who thought it would be nice. I brought in someone else who hopefully you'll understand a bit better in later chapters. He was basically a friend of Nate, Serena, Blair and Chuck's who went to St. Judes with them until the holidays after Christmas 2006 (that's when Chuck has memories up to) so he's new to us, but not to the characters in this story.

This chapter is extra long with a realllyyy long Chuck & Blair scene. You guys requested him knowing a little bit more and this chapter he does via Blair, in later chapters his memory will start help him out :)

Hope this chapters ok, and the Chuck's not too OOC during the chair scene. I know he's being nice but he's just trying to make it up to her. You'll understand more when you read it hopefully! hehe

Please keep on reviewing, it makes my day and keeps me writing! And thank you for reading either way :)

- Lauren

* * *

..

_Spotted_

_Chuck Bass downing girls like milkshakes._

_Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry were all seen exiting the Empire just this morning, and our guess is they weren't there to see our very own Golden Boy._

_With Nate Archibald out of town and the Empire all to himself looks like Chuck's ready to make up for all his years he's lost. Or forgotten that is. Oh Chuckie Boy we did miss you._

_XOXO_

_Gossip Girl_

_.._

Blair Waldorf stares at her phone with a sigh before pushing it back into bag and moving forward in the cue to the coffee counter.

She shouldn't have been surprised, and honestly she wasn't entirely. His actions now weren't far off the way he had turned once they had broken up the first time back in March after the whole Jack fiasco. He had gone straight from break up to sleeping with practically the whole of Manhattan. At the time she had put a façade, pretended it didn't hurt her when really she had felt like her heart had been torn in two, and now she was all too used to the feeling, and covering it up.

Shoving her thoughts of the boy she once loved to the back of her mind she tapped her foot impatiently on the floor as she finally waited for the person in front of her to collect his drink and move away before moving forward in a hurry. Unfortunately he chose that time to turn back around and his drink collided with Blair sending it flying backwards and staining his shirt.

Her bad mood from seeing the Gossip Girl blast sparked and she lashed out at the guy, bending down to pick up her bag which had fallen to the floor, "Watch were you're going blind guy, maybe you should learn to walk with your eyes _open_."

She failed to see his eyebrows raise in amusing question as she knelt down and agitatedly picked up her bag, before shoving it onto her shoulder and getting back on her feet, narrowing her eyes as she realized he was still standing there.

"Actually Waldorf, it was _you _that bumped into _me_, so it's only fair that you pay for the dry cleaning and clean up the mess on the floor before someone trips and hurts themselves." The boy smirked at her and she finally looked at his face. It took a moment for her to process him before the feeling of _familiarity _to washed over her and her mouth popped slightly open.

"Andrew Russells?" She cocked her head to the side and smiled, "I would hug you but you're dripping with coffee What are you doing here?"

"College." He told her with a nod, "I decided to come back for it."

"It's been like 5 or 6 years, and if I recall correctly you weren't exactly dragged off to England kicking and screaming." Blair joked, and he laughed.

"Yeah you're right but I missed New York, I missed my friends. Speaking of how's the boyfriend, Serena, Chuck?"

It's Blair turn to laugh, "Oh, you're really out the loop aren't you? It's a long story."

Andrew nodded, "Well then, why don't we get some more coffee and you can tell me all about it?"

"Deal, as long as you tell me all about England as well."

…

"You're insufferable!"

Serena van der Woodsen pulled the glass of scotch out of her step-brothers hand and went to drown it down the sink, "Chuck you've been acting like a stupid, reckless drunk teenager for the past two weeks will you _please _just cut it out already?"

"Urgh." Chuck Bass rolled around on the sofa and pressed his head against the pillow he's rested it on, "Seriously Serena, when did you become _so dull_? Where's the fun girl in you gone?"

"She grew up!" Serena cried, "She realized that drinking and partying and drugs aren't the solution to a crappy upbringing and they just ruin your life!"

"Well I haven't realized that yet! I'm 15 years old and free to do what I want!" Chuck grumbled.

"No, you're almost 20 years old, you have a hotel to run, a whole business to keep in check and a life to be getting on with! You can not do that whilst half passed out on the sofa every night! You even drove Nate away!"

"Nathaniel went to visit his grandfather." Chuck scoffed, "And if I hear anymore talk about how I should be getting on with my grown up life I will personally kill you."

"This isn't the answer to your problems Chuck." Serena told him.

"I'm just living through the years I've lost."

"You've already lived them!" Serena cried, "You need to get up, have a shower and go through some business documents. You're drowning Chuck, and you're bringing the Empire down with you."

"You're giving me a headache." He rubbed his forehead and then made a face, "Oh I'm gonna vomit."

Serena watched as he ran towards the bathroom and made a noise of disgust.

Quickly she scrolled down the contact list on her phone and rang Nate's number but was met with his voicemail.

"Hey Nate, it's me. Chuck's not doing so well, and Blair's living in this bubble, refusing to talk it through with him, and I need you to help me." She sighs, "Just call me back and I have a plan."

She flipped her phone down just as Chuck stumbled back from the bathroom.

"Listen to me." She finally says, running her hand through her hair and then helps him settle down on the sofa, "Chuck you have to stop this ok? You're not going anywhere with it."

He groans, "I don't know what else to do Serena. I don't know how this business shit works and my head is all over the place."

She nods, "I understand, and it must really suck to be you right now, ok? But for god's sake Chuck what you're doing isn't helping anyone, not me or Nate or Blair, least of all you."

"Don't you talk to me about Blair!" He cries, "She lied to me!"

"Chuck she's having just as hard a time dealing with this as you!" Serena pressed, "Harder even. Imagine waking up and finding out that the love of your life doesn't know you."

Chuck stares at her with an unreadable expression on his face, "_Love of her life_?" He lets out an exasperated breathe and runs his hand through his hair, "How does that kind of thing happen to me?"

"This is Blair Waldorf we're talking about." Serena laughs lightly, "She makes great things happen. You two are like magnets for each other."

A silence falls between them before Serena says, "You really loved each other."

He gulps audibly, "I've been a complete jerk."

"Can't argue with that." Serena laughs slightly, "Make an appointment with Mr Fitz he'll show you some of your business plans, please? We'll tackle one thing at a time."

He barely nods as he watches the blonde retreat towards the kitchen.

…

"Hold the elevator please!" Blair Waldorf calls as she rushes towards the Empire doors, barely slipping past the closing doors and narrowing her eyes at the person inside before her expression changes to one of surprise as she sees Chuck Bass standing inside looking at her nervously.

"Hey." He mutters, as she nods pressing the button to go up to his suite.

"Listen Blair, I'm really sorry for the way I acted when I found out..." Chuck says automatically, he wants to get it over and done with as soon as possible, "And what I've been doing the past two weeks. I haven't been fair."

"It's ok Bass." Blair says back with a smile, "You've done worse."

"Not that I remember." He jokes weakly and she forces a smile before turning around to watch the elevator doors close.

"Wait." Blair's furrowed her eyebrows and turns back around quickly, "Did you get a text from Nate asking you to meet him here?"

Chuck sighed and nodded, "About half and hour ago, he just got back from his grandfathers and we're going have lunch."

"No, _Nate and I _going to have lunch." Blair scoffed, running a hand through her hair and then pulled out her phone, retrieving the text message and holding it out to Chuck, "Look familiar?"

"So we just got played by the guy who can't spell conniving?" Chuck rolled his eyes; "There's something majorly wrong with that."

Blair made a face, "No, you're right, there is something wrong with that… Serena was acting shifty all morning."

"Right so there's in it together, trying to get us to talk." He sighed, "Don't they understand that if we wanted to talk we could easily do that _without _their help?"

"All it takes is a pair of functioning mouths." Blair agreed.

The elevator reached their floor and dinged, both Chuck and Blair turning towards the doors expectantly.

"Um, either there's something wrong with the door or those two blonde's are apparently brighter than we thought." Chuck commented causing Blair to groan.

"Of course they'd do this." Blair cried, "They couldn't even come up with something original. This has 2009 Chuck Bass written all over it."

Chuck furrowed his eyebrows, "Wait, what?"

Blair dismissed the confused question and walked towards the elevator emergency button, and pressed it, a few times.

"S, Nate if you do not get us out of here right now I will hurt you when I get out, mark my words." Blair cried into the speaker.

It only took a moment for the voice of her best friend to reply, "This is for your own good B. Talk through your problems, you know where the supplies are, and once you're done you'll be free to go."

"I actually have a meeting with Mr Fitz to go to following our little discussion this morning sis, I have to be there in hour." Chuck said, stepping forward causing Blair to roll her eyes, expecting what was to come next.

"But you had enough time to have lunch with me?" Nate piped in over the speaker, "The faster you two sort through your problems the faster you'll be out. Get on with it."

Blair grumbled, letting go of the communication button and resorted to sitting on the floor of the elevator, her hand pulling at the edge and retrieving a bottle of scotch and macaroons.

"You're not actually following through with this are you?"

"You couldn't come up with anything better than an important business meeting with Mr Fitz?" Blair rolled her eyes, "It was obviously a lie."

He sighed, grudgingly settling on the floor opposite her, "It wasn't. It's just later in the day."

"No." Blair shook her head, pulling out two glasses, and rolling the lid off the scotch bottle, "You had you're lying voice on, and you didn't move you're hands when saying it. You like to articulate yourself, with hand movements to accompany, only when you believe something is really true."

She can feel him staring at her as she pours the clear brown liquid into the glass cups but doesn't comment. She forgets sometimes that he doesn't remember the last four years of his life. The time that she had to learn all about him, he had to learn all about her. The person that knew her best in the world had now disappeared.

"How did we happen Blair?" He finally chokes out, "I mean it's us. I'm a heinous womanizer and you're Nathaniel's girl."

She gulps slightly as she pushes his filled glass towards him and shakes her head, "That's a slippery road to go down."

"We were locked in here to talk, and I don't think they meant about the weather or how this years basketball season is going."

"You secretly hate basketball, Nate's better at scoring hoops." She muses.

"Stop it." He says shakily, "Stop proving that you know me, it's scary, no one knows that stuff about me."

She bites her bottom lip slightly, and then takes a gulp of her scotch. He bit back a comment when he didn't see her face change to one of disgust as the dark liquid fell down her throat. He reminds himself she's had years to yet accustomed to the taste.

"Limo." Is what she finally says, "You took my virginity and please don't go look all smug with yourself."

He raises his eyebrows, "I took your virginity in the back of a moving vehicle?"

"If you gave me a penny every time you used that against me I'd be an even richer girl."

"At least tell me you and Nathaniel were broken up." Chuck says, gulping back some of his scotch as if in preparation for her response.

"Yes." She confirms and then a small smirk plays on her lips, "For about an hour."

He chuckles darkly at that and swings the liquid around in his cup, "I'm sure golden boy was all but pleased about that, though it does sound classic me. I'm sure you couldn't keep you're hands off me."

She rolls her eyes and then sighs, breaking open the packet of macaroons, "Yeah cos you're such a catch."

"You would know." He jokes, leaning over to grab a green one, "Otherwise you would haven't have dated me for... how long was it anyways?"

She clenches her jaw, still unprepared to tell him their story. In a way it all still felt like a dream to her, that one day she'd wake up and be in Paris with Serena and Chuck would be half way across the world being Chuck Bass. The Chuck Bass that _knew her_ (_better than he knew himself_).

"We dated for almost a year, last year. Broke up in March."

He furrows his eyebrows, "So you waited until you were 19 to give it up?"

"No." She shakes her head amused at how distraught he seemed over the question, "I was 16, a couple of days before my 17th. We had a bit of an on-off thing going on till..."

... Until his dad died, and I love you's. Jack, being done, no Yale and Nate and limos and proms and I love you too's...

"Until..." He prompted.

She feels herself gulp and then shakes her head, with a shaky sigh, "I thought I could do this, I could relive it but I can't."

"Blair... come on please, I really want to know. I _need _to know." He stares at her, "What happened this March, why did we break up?"

... The Empire, Elizabeth, Jack again and deals, games, needing to win, the worst thing he's ever done...

"Blair." He stressed and she looks up at him with an unmistakable fire in her eyes, "_Tell me_."

"You traded me to you uncle for your beloved Empire." She finally says, though her voice is dripping with venom.

"Traded you?" He asks in confusion and she can't help but think how his voice matches that of the therapist they spoke to during the role play they went through for Rufus and Lily.

"For sex." She reiterates and she can see the confusion clear in his eyes. He looks away and she chuckles darkly, "I said I'd stand by you through anything, and I did, I forgave you and you slept with Jenny Humphrey."

His eyes flash back to hers and shakes his head, "Who?"

"It doesn't matter now." She says, "It's done. You _got shot_, kind of lessens the blow."

"_Blair_." It's too much for him to take in all at once. He _cheated on her_? Is that what she was saying, or where the circumstances different?

"You didn't cheat on me." She finally says and he wonders how she does that, read his mind without actually having the ability to, "We were broken up and you _affair to remembered _me. I was little late since Dorota went into labour."

"Dorota has a baby?" She laughs at his shocked face at the news, by expression that seemed to have hit the hardest, though she realises it's probably because he's hiding the feelings he has for the other things, "Wow."

"She's married to Vanya, the Van der Woodsen's door man, and they have an apartment in Queens which mother and Cyprus bought for them." Blair clarified and then quickly added, "My step father Cyprus, him and Eleanor got married a few years back, he's Jewish and believes in all things good."

Chuck's hands move up to his hands and he runs them through it, letting out an exasperated breathe, "Quite a few things _have _changed these last 4 years."

She stares at him and her eyes grow icy, "It's so hard to believe that you can't remember it, it's not the kind of thing that happens to regular people, you only see it in movies of some sort."

"We live in the UES." He jokes, "Dirty, rich, scandals. Gossip Girl."

"I guess." She nods, "It's still unreal that you could forget like that."

"I wish I didn't." He whispers, "Sometimes. I see everyone else has grown up, moved on and I feel like a teenager stuck in an young adults body and youth's passed me by in a flash. For god's sake we were _in love_."

She cringes and he mentally hit himself. A moment of silence falls over them and he gulps audibly.

"I'm sorry Blair. I know it doesn't mean much coming from someone who remembers nought all, but I really am sorry for what I did to you." He shakes his head, "You didn't deserve it."

"It takes two to tango." She tells him with a smile, "You don't know the half of it, you're not completely to blame."

Before he can say anything to the contrary her phone buzzes and confused expressions fall on both their faces, "There's signal here?" Blair muses as she pulls out her blackberry and looks at the caller name.

"Must be because they stopped us at the landing not someplace midway." Chuck attempts to explain and then looks at Blair, "Is it them?"

She shakes her head, and sighs at the screen name flashing. _Andrew Russells_. She finally presses the green phone button and brings it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hey Blair." The person on the other line greets happily, "Listen I'm around your area and I was wondering if you wanted to grab something to eat for lunch, or dinner if you're busy now."

She sighs, "Yeah I am busy right now actually, kind of. It's a long story which involves two very annoying blonde's that you know very well."

He laughs on the other end, "What have Nate and Serena done this time?"

"I'll tell you about it at dinner, make reservations somewhere nice." She smiles down the phone, "And please wear something a little nicer than what you had on this morning Russells, pink is not your colour."

He scoffs, pretending to be offended, "It was salmon coloured and complimented my skin tone very nicely, thank you very much Waldorf."

"Mmhh, you keep telling yourself that."

"I'll see you tonight, pick you up at 8, you're place?"

"Bye." She responses and switches her phone off to an awaiting awkward silence.

"Who was that?" Chuck finally asks, hoping he doesn't sound to prying.

"Andrew Russells." She replies with a smile.

"Oh ok, I was meant to call him about the English homework just last week actually." Chuck comments and then they both go quite again, "Or a year and week ago."

"Andy left about a month after the Winter Holidays in 2006 to go to England with his family." Blair explains, "I bumped into him, quite literally, this morning, he's back for college at Columbia. He'll start at the same time as Nate. S and I."

Chuck's eyebrows furrow, "No Yale?"

He wishes he didn't say anything as a spark of something forgotten flashes through her eyes and she's forced to conceal it with a pressed smile, "No. No Yale."

He nods and then looks down, "So you're going on a date with him?"

"Chuck..." She protests because she could have worn she heard jealousy in his voice and another silence falls around them.

"I swear I felt a huge lump in my throat and I don't know why." Chuck concedes and she sighs.

"I want us to be able to be friends." She admits, "I thought it'd be easier if I didn't tell you now that you don't remember anything but I was wrong, and I'm glad I told you."

"Me too." He agrees and then they sit in silence for a moment before they hear the elevator doors ding and both turn to watch them slide open and their two bestfriends standing outside waiting for them.

Blair gets up first, leaving Chuck to grab the scotch and macaroons and they both go towards them. The fact Nate and Serena _holding hands _doesn't go amiss.

"Don't kill us." Nate jokes and the two brunettes shake their heads.

"Let's go get some lunch." Blair says, "I'm too hungry for murder."

The blonde's agree and disappear to get their coats leaving Chuck and Blair alone again.

"You still haven't told me everything you know. I'm still half in the dark."

She nods, "Just give me some time Chuck, I'm still processing here."

"I'm sorry." He repeats, ducking his head, "Even though I don't remember I _know _that I feel really truly sorry."

"Yeah." She says, "I know too, and it'll be ok."

"Soon?"

"Yeah." She smiles, "Hopefully."

* * *

So yep, now they're friends!

Hope this chapter was ok and that you guys like the idea of Andrew. I have quite the drama filled story planned so please keep reading, but if you want to leave any suggestions as to what will happen feel free to do so! I want everyone to enjoy it :P

Thanks again for reading!

xo Lauren


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